Casual dating – uncomplicated time for two

Not everyone is looking for the great love and even if, so the time until you have found this, can be bridged with the so-called casual dating excellent. Uncomplicated dates, where everything is possible, but nothing is a must. In a world with dating apps, online portals & Co, dating without commitments has become easier than ever before.

It offers you the opportunity to meet many different people and, above all, to get to know yourself better. So casual dating is also a great way to just try out who or what you like. After all, you never have to see each other again if you don’t want to. But how do you prepare a date if it’s already concretely planned for a hot night, or at least you want to keep all your options open?

What does casual dating stand for?

• Everything possible, but not a must
• Trying out
• Open options

Tip 1: Communication

It doesn’t matter if you met your date online or in person, or if it’s a blind date: A little communication beforehand is important so that you know who or what is coming up. In addition, it is anything but unusual in dating apps & Co to talk in advance about the respective expectations of the date. Unfortunately, not everyone is honest about this, but many people are open about the fact that they are only interested in something firm or just something casual, for example. So if you’re unsure whether they’re both approaching the date with the same goals, it’s worth simply asking. As we all know, it doesn’t cost anything to ask!

How should you communicate?

• Before the date
• Talk about expectations
• Question about the goal of the date

Tip 2: Location

What follows now is the concrete planning, namely the question of when and where the meeting will take place. Depending on the type of date, the appointment can take place directly at home, so as not to waste time, so to speak – then mutual trust is the key. So especially women should not just go to a stranger’s home. It is therefore better to start the date in public and decide spontaneously how to proceed. If, on the other hand, you are looking for a permanent relationship and want to get to know your counterpart first, romantic places are a perfect choice: a chic restaurant, the botanical garden, a lake or river shore, a drive-in movie theater…there are no limits to your creativity in this regard.

Where is the location?

• At home when trust is there
• Public in case of uncertainty

Tip 3: Body care

Even if you don’t plan to be physically close, every date can turn out unexpectedly. It is therefore worthwhile in any case to devote yourself to personal hygiene in advance: shave, wash your hair, apply cream to your skin, paint your nails – prepare yourself so that you feel completely comfortable in case the date turns out to be hotter than expected. This way you won’t put unnecessary limits on yourself and you’ll radiate self-confidence, which in turn will make you look more attractive. A “beauty day” before the date is therefore a good idea in any case and can be designed according to your individual ideas.

How should you care for yourself?

• Feel good all around
• Prepare correctly
• Be clean

Tip 4: Outfit

There is still the question of the perfect outfit and this should also be right from the top to the bottom layer. What is to be seen, of course, should fit the type and location of the appointment. Your outfit can accordingly range from casual jeans to elegant evening wear and must reflect your personality. So wear what you feel comfortable in, is the most important principle in this regard. This also applies to your underwear: you should feel sexy in it if the date leads to a hot night. Women like to choose lace underwear for this purpose, even if its care is not entirely uncomplicated, because it simply gives them a uniquely seductive feeling. Men have less choice in this regard and usually go for classics like boxer shorts, which best show off their assets.

Which outfit should I choose?

• Matching the location
• Reflect personality
• Pay attention to underwear

Tip 5: Small talk

The biggest fear most people have on a date is embarrassing silence. It’s therefore worth thinking about possible topics of conversation in advance. Most dates start with classic small talk: about the weather, about hobbies, about the job – just as the topics arise. So, in case of a sudden silence, you can prepare some questions, because you shouldn’t start talking about yourself all the time. If, on the other hand, you want to make the date more impersonal or unusual, more creative topics of conversation are possible: for example, come up with scenarios like “what would you do if you won the lottery today?” or show humor with stories like the one about your most embarrassing experience. Again, there are no limits to your creativity. Ultimately, the date should be one thing above all, namely fun.

What should we talk about?

• Small talk about weather & co.
• Prepare questions
• Don’t just talk about yourself

Tip 6: Approach

If the chemistry is right, sooner or later there is usually an attempt at a physical approach. This can come from both the man and the woman. The motto is therefore courage. However, it is important to read the signs whether he or she wants this at all – and to accept a “no”. You yourself also need to set boundaries if something makes you uncomfortable. Thus, the date can end before the first kiss or in bed after all, depending on how both decide this by mutual consent. Even with sexual acts, it is allowed to try something, but of course only if he or she wants to. Again, communication is the be-all and end-all for a successful date.

How should one approach?

• Plenty of courage
• “Being able to accept “no
• Decide together

Tip 7: Honesty

This also applies to the last tip, namely that of honesty. This is even important in casual dating. This means honestly discussing your own expectations for the date or the time afterwards. It means being honest if something goes too fast or too far for you. And it also means honestly explaining any break in contact after the date. Because methods like so-called ghosting, which has unfortunately been rampant for several years (not only) in the dating world, cause unnecessary frustration and possibly even pain. Therefore, you should also be honest from the beginning when it comes to the question of what you are looking for, whether you would like to meet again, whether you can imagine more with him or her…and so on. At first glance, this may sound annoying, even exhausting. But at second glance it will save you a lot of drama if you play your cards right from the start. Nevertheless, you can’t expect your counterpart to do the same. Once again, it is therefore worthwhile to let a (casual) date come to you in a relaxed manner and simply wait and see where it leads.

Value honesty:

• Discuss expectations and future honestly
• Be honest to avoid ghosting

Conclusion: Self-discovery in dating

Finally, you can define for yourself what constitutes a hot date for you and how far you want to go. With the right preparation and the tips mentioned, you will then experience exactly the day, the evening or the night, which you have imagined in advance. At the same time, the date will only be really exciting if you let it come to you a bit and are open to the unexpected – of course, while maintaining your boundaries. Because even in casual dating there are unwritten rules: Discretion, no jealousy or violence, and the aforementioned honesty. Then all eventualities can occur from a one-time date to the very big love. Have fun!

Nilam Farooq: A life with the camera

I’m sure many of you remember Nilam Farooq by her synonym “daaruum”, which she used to perform on her YouTube channel from 2010 until late 2017. What some may not have known – Nilam was already active in the acting industry as a 14-year-old and loved the camera from a young age. In addition to feature films, she has been in front of the camera for productions of well-known series such as “Tatort” or “SOKO Leipzig”, but also for a Netflix-owned production called “Du Sie Er & Wir”. As a native German of Polish-Pakistani descent, Nilam has not always had it easy and has had to make several experiences with everyday racism in her life – a topic that director Sönke Wortmann takes up in “Contra”.

“Contra”: Nilam’s role as a student.

Here you can see a clip from the trailer of Nilam’s latest movie “Contra” by director Sönke Wortmann.

Tip! You can get the trailer and all information about the movie in our article about the movie “Contra”!

• Contra film premiere

Racism, communication and… a little fashion – interview

The film Contra is about interpersonal communication, prejudice and racism, a topic that is very close to Nilam’s heart. She hopes that one day a rethinking will happen in society. Find out more about Nilam’s thoughts on racism and communication in our exclusive Red Carpet Interview!

Anticipation! Film premiere after almost three years

FIV: Hi Nilam, this is your first film premiere after Corona! How does it feel to finally be back on the red carpet?

Nilam: I am so excited! We shot the film about two and a half years ago, it’s been postponed four times. This is my baby! Every time you do, you think to yourself “Oh no!” but I’ve convinced myself, I’ve been given a very long anticipation period. I’m also really excited now that we can do this multi-city tour and also just see the response from the audience, because that’s who we make the films for in the end!

“This is my baby” – Nilam Farooq on the film.

Red Carpet Look: Nilam likes it chic and comfortable

FIV: You look beautiful again tonight, can you tell us a little more about your look?

Nilam: Sure. The look is by Nobi Talai. I love wearing stuff from Nobi because I hate that when I’m kind of uncomfortable or have to pay attention to everything. Sure, I have to pay a bit of attention here (points to her blazer that doubled as the only top), but that can be handled pretty well these days. For me, I always try a little bit, when you see the movie poster like that, not to show up in that style, so you can see, “It’s not her, she played it.”

Interview @ FIV Instagram

Live from the red carpet, a sneak peek! Follow us on Instagram for more red carpet moments:

• FIV Instagram

 

Check out this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by FIV MAGAZINE (@fivmagazine).

Everyday racism: Nilam’s hope for a rethink

FIV: The film deals a lot with racism and xenophobia, so we wanted to ask how important this topic is to you? You must have had some experiences with everyday racism, unfortunately, what is it like? Can you briefly tell us something about it?

Nilam: You say it quite right. I have mainly had experiences with everyday racism. I also know from many colleagues that they have had experiences with hardcore racism. With me it’s always the combination of Poland and Pakistan, so people tend to be super interested, luckily for me! But everyday racism is everywhere and always there. I didn’t know what to call it for a very long time when people would say something like, “I put on these Oriental earrings for you!” and then you’re standing there being like “…that’s nice, but….?”. I think this is an insanely important topic and I always think when these topics come up, it’s a “trend” first. But this one has been going on for quite a long time and because of that, the hope is there that with each passing day, more, so to speak, in some way, a real shift in thinking will happen. It will never be perfect, but it will be better. There is still a lot of potential!

The message of the film: good feeling for the audience

FIV: Finally, we wanted to ask what is the message of the film for the audience, what feeling should they leave the cinema with?

Nilam: First of all, when you make films, I think you should leave the cinema with a good feeling and be entertained. With us it is now specifically so, there are several topics that we of course somehow tackle, be it man-woman, be it hierarchy, migration and non-migration, academic background. But for me it’s mainly the curiosity about the other person, giving someone the chance to really get to know him and not to conclude something based on something that is really very superficial. That would be my thing, talking, communication, that’s our film!

Want more? Insights from the “Contra” premiere

The interview made you curious about the film, you want to get more impressions of the “Contra” premiere in Cologne? Click here for our main article about the film!

• Contra film premiere

Relationship tips for new lovers: The first 100 days

Especially at the beginning of a relationship you are often uncertain. One does not know how to behave or how the other person reacts to conflict situations. Mutual agreement and communication is very important especially at the beginning.
In addition, you also have to keep your expectations within a realistic framework. Every person is different and if you idealize your partner too much, the probability of being disappointed is high. And the partner is not even necessarily to blame for this. Sometimes our expectations of the ideal partner are simply so high that they cannot all be fulfilled. Therefore, do not enter the relationship with the expectation of being able to change the other person. Humans are creatures of habit and do not like to break their routines.

In the video you will find four more tips for a fresh start in a new relationship.

Lead a fulfilling partnership: Dates, compromises, problems, etc.

After the rosy beginning of a relationship has to give way to normality at some point, it is still important to maintain your partnership. And that means above all mutual attention. Be careful that nice things like bringing coffee to bed are not taken for granted. Keep appreciating them and let your partner know that too. Stay open and attentive.

Still looking for ideas for a romantic date night at home? How about one of the top 3 romantic movies that men also enjoy watching?

Tips for a good & long relationship

• Make time for each other.
• Talk to each other and listen to each other
• Common experiences weld together
• Give in and find compromises
• Give each other space

Apart from that, communication is also very important here. Because only speaking people can be helped.  In the video you can learn how you can improve your relationship with 3 things immediately.

Fundamental principles of a healthy relationship

Solve & prevent crises

If a relationship does have crises in spite of everything, it is often due to a lack of

• Trust
• effective communication
• Willingness to compromise
• Tolerance
• Affection
• Interest

Therefore these 6 relationship pillars are fundamental for a good and healthy relationship. You can find four more basics in the video.
Basically: Communication is the be-all and end-all! Talk to each other. Only in this way can conflicts be solved.

The signs of a healthy relationship

Just because there are arguments from time to time or because there is a crisis between you doesn’t mean that you should break up or that you don’t fit together. Disputes and conflicts are part and parcel of a long-term relationship.
It is important to talk things out afterwards and to listen to each other again.
Nothing is more important in a relationship than communication. You are still not sure if you have a healthy relationship? You will find the answer in the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv4A3D8Ke9o

Michelle Obama, Beyoncé, Viola Davis & Will Smith: Hollywood’s relationship experts

Relationships are work. And not only for normal people but also for Michelle Obama, Viola Davis, Will Smith and even for Queen B Beyoncé. On Oprah these celebrity couples share their personal relationship tips with you.